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A Fundamental Snap

24Marpm1912

This is intended to be observational in furtherance of opening a door to a room of which I don’t think many people of a certain background would ever be aware otherwise. If you grew up in a middle-class neighborhood of largely stable mom and pop families who were all dancing to the rhythm of the so-called middle-class world, then you may never have been exposed to the room in which people with Attachment Disorder or Separation Anxiety live their life. As such, you would have to learn what is meant by the experiences of those who live in this other room, to which I am going to open the door.

In the room with which you are familiar, which is the one I grew up in. You came home from the hospital and your mom took care of you on a nearly immediate basis. As you proceeded through the first 6 days of your life, that connection was never at risk and most likely that connection remained until your mom passed away. Whether that relationship was good or bad in the long run is a different room from that to which we are headed. The point is that you had an attachment to your mom from the start and that was never interrupted. You also had attachment to others, like dad and siblings, maybe grandparents, but where you learned, on a fundamental level, that an attachment was a valuable and trustworthy “thing” was from that unbroken connection. In your world, there was never an alternative that had to be reckoned with.

OK, let’s look at an alternative. Let’s say you were taken from the hospital by Dad and never saw mom again. Well, if dad steps in as the attachment that can be trusted, maybe the disruption of the original attachment during the first feedings of life, fundamental as it is, does not mean that much. But what if dad takes you to “grandma’s house” and you are left in her care. Again, if the attachment to at least one adult is in place, perhaps you have not left the trustworthy attachment room yet. Let’s say, though, that dad fades for whatever reason, then grandma fades as well. Let’s say you end up in Foster Care because the adult responsible for you fails. All of those are attachments that have been broken.

Now, here is the real rub. Let’s say you are only three years old. Your brain is entirely intuitive, no ability to intellectualize the situation. No COPING SKILLS developed at all in your brain. As a child you simply learn, on a fundamental level, that ANY attachment cannot be trusted. And, the defense that comes to a child’s brain is thus: I cannot allow an attachment to form because when it ends, and it will invariably end, the pain is something that I don’t want to face. The only choice I have is to be sure I don’t attach so that I assure that I avoid the pain of the loss that I am sure will happen. That is the kid survival response.

The subject is much deeper, but if you have any sense of empathy all, you are now peeking into the room of those that face some form of the circumstance I set out. Kids that have their attachments broken learn a way of life well different from what most of society takes for granted.

Now reckon with this: The US Government, on purpose, and as conceived and promoted by Stephen Miller, decided to purposefully disrupt the attachments of kids from their parent at our border. Why? Well we don’t have to guess, because Miller actually promoted that it was for the purpose of teaching people not to come here. REALLY, are those kids mere pawns in his game? Yes.

If you go to Arraignment Court in any city in America, you will see Attachment Disorder in many of the defendants, and they are not immigrants, but those here who have grown up in a different room from that familiar to the part of society who is in control of the rhythm of society. Without attachments, society has very little sway on them, so why in the world would the government voluntarily and with knowledge a foresight choose such a path for kids in exchange for teaching their parents something they won’t “get” anyway?

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